Challenges Young Adults Face: Bi-polar Spirituality

The best way of living charity lies in generously outstripping the demands made on us by justice. Such charity will generally go unnoticed, but it is very fruitful in heaven and indeed also on earth. It would be a mistake to think that when expressions such as 'the happy mean' or 'a just mean' are used regarding the moral virtues, they imply mediocrity, or somehow aiming at doing half of what we could do. The mean we are asked to aim at lies midway between excess and defect, and is in fact a summit, a peak: the best course of action, as indicated to us by prudence. Though when it comes to the theological virtues, there is no middle course. We cannot believe, or hope, or love too much. We are called to love God without limit, with a love that overflows to those around us in an abundance of generosity, understanding and charity.  

~ Josemaria Escriva, Friends of God, #83

Years ago when I was a catechist and fresh from my reversion back to the faith at the ripe age of 21, I was overjoyed and enthusiastic to make up for lost time while in the darkness of atheism. I was asked by a girl I knew in high school to help her teach a few classes here and there at a local parish she was the Confirmation coordinator for. She asked me to lead a crash course for teens that needed their first Confession and Holy Communion. This is where I met many of my closest friends. In the class, one particular young lady mentioned that their family only comes to Mass when times are tough. When times are good, they don’t. I recall discussing with her the need for consistency, at all times, but especially when times are tough. I only use that memory as a point of departure for my observation both in reflection on my own past and ongoing battle, as well as my observation and discussions with others. It seems as though some of us have a tendency to be on either side of extremes. I suppose this is due to the enthusiasm and overflowing energy that young people have. There is so much passion that can be harnessed from teens and young adults. If we do not give them something good to fight for, they will fight for anything, even the wrong things. They want to belong; they want to be a part of something greater than themselves. But I notice in today’s Catholic youth culture, that sometimes the energy that is brought to the table is sort of like a case of bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder is a psychiatric disorder where the individual has sharp swings in affect between two extremes, manic states and depressive states, that is to say, over-active states and under-active states. So there are periods of highs and periods of lows. How many young Catholics have you encountered where they spent a long period of time involved in every group or ministry available to their age group, and then after some time, they drop off and disappear? Sometimes it is abrupt, and sometimes it is a gradual decrease in involvement. I think the gradual ones are the toughest ones, because nobody really noticed them slowly disappearing. Before you know it, nobody even remembers them. How sad. How can someone so integral to a group at one time, all of a sudden be forgotten. Maybe nobody notices because fresh faces come in all the time. All the while the old faces, who once gave so much, are abandoned. Some have perhaps even lost their faith. Some perhaps have chosen lifestyles contrary to their former beliefs. The problem, it seems to me is what is commonly called “burn out”. It happens in all sorts of secular professions, but it can also happen in a religious context. Would this happen if these individuals were really friends? I mean really friends with each other? The kind of friends you would be able to discuss your greatest fears and concerns with. Probably not! Make sure your time in church activities is not just a pass time. Make sure the ministry strives for the integration of one’s whole personality, psychological, spiritual, and bodily. I propose having realistic expectations of what you are capable of, with regard to capabilities as well as your time and energy investment. Strike a balance between your commitments to church related activities, family related activities, time spent with friends, leisure activities, as well as personal alone time to “re-charge”. Make sure that there is a consistency between your internal expectations of yourself and your public expression of your personality. Spiritual-social schizophrenia is not an option. Be the same person in all social and religious contexts. It is the best policy, trust me. Last but not least, pray that God grant you the grace to maintain, sustain, and persevere… to the end. 

Laurence G.

June 7, 2011